Friday thoughts

Well everyone, we survived another week of life, isn't it grand?


There hasn't been much to blog about in the household this week. It's been one of those average, unremarkable weeks which can be both good and bad.

I could bore you with the details of reorganizing the clothes in my tiny bedroom, but I won't.

I did find Simcha Fischer's article over on the National Catholic register this week interesting, though. The article is titled "This Isn't Really Who I Am!" and talks about how she sort of keeps making excuses about how she is not really herself because of the life circumstances she finds herself in.

"This is my life, and this is me, living it.  It's time to give up for good the idea that there is some other, calmer me waiting in the wings to deal with some other, calmer existence that may or may not come about"

I find myself falling prey to this same mentality almost constantly.

"It's a pretty common mental trap to fall into -- clinging to the notion that we're just getting through this rough patch right now, but that our real life lies waiting for us in the future, and our real selves are the ones who have to deal with that real life.  The trap says:  This, just now?  This is temporary.  This is a glitch, and we need to cut ourselves some slack until our real lives start again."

I believe I have been doing this very thing ever since graduating college. Once the predictable ebb and flow of school years fades away, I think it becomes difficult to reconcile the idea that life is just an unpredictable jumble of days that do not follow a set plan or are dictated by the seasons of the year.

Since becoming a parent especially it's easy to fall into the trap. Once the kids are older, I'll be more like myself. Once the kids are out of the house, things will be more normal. But then I have to stop and think about all of the life circumstances that could happen between now and then and have to consider that, as Mrs. Fischer relates, I have to accept that this is my real life. Projecting our real lives into the future undermines any efficacy we have in the present moment.

On the other hand, I also think it's necessary for parents to project their thoughts into a quieter, if not realistic future some days and to believe that their kids will not always be afraid of the dark, will be potty trained, will not find it necessary to cover the kitchen floor with flour if they happen to find an open bag lying around unsupervised. We have to have these thoughts because the idea of living with pint sized crazy people indefinitely is not bearable. We have to have moments where we buy into the idea that maybe someday we'll have time for more of the things that we find interesting and entertaining - maybe even to go into that antique shop and browse without worry that someone will touch something irreplaceable and the proprietor will despise you for it.

We have to believe these things - else we go mad. So, yes, I accept that this current situation is my real life but I refuse to believe that it is not a season of my life, and, like everyone, I enjoy some seasons more than others.

Ultimately, she ties her thoughts in the article back to the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that the perfect real life we imagine we're missing out on doesn't actually exist and will always be tainted by original sin (good point). It just got me thinking about why we might have the tendency to deny our current situation as being our "real life." I think it's because some days as a mom and a parent you just have to say - this IS temporary, it WILL get better - otherwise we might all just give up and go down with the ship.

Me, I'll be dreaming and that will keep us away from the iceburgs.