My desires for you oh my child....dear child....
are not so many that I thinketh them unreasonable and yet the reasonableness of these desires is called into question on a daily...no, nary, thrice daily basis....verily unto the nth time my desires are cast unto the ground and scattered like so much dirty laundry upon your floor.
I desire that you should say unto me "Mother! Oh dearest mother! I have a plentiful amount of clothing to wear in my drawer and the sight of said clothing pleases me so. It is apparent how much labor you have put into the cleaning, sorting and folding of mine clothing and so I shall show it the greatest respect and not crumple it up and cast it upon the floor to be trampled by myself and my siblings. I would not dream, oh Mother, to throw these beautiful and clean garments upon the floor in order to play with my Barbies or trucks or superheroes (as may be) in the empty space left therein. For if I were to do that, oh dearest Mother, I know that the clean and unclean clothing will mix and you would be unable to discern the clean clothes from the dirty ones and the clean would be needlessly washed with the dirty."
It is my desire that you should say these things, and yet you do not say them, nor even imply them.
I desire that you should say unto me "Mother! Oh dearest mother! I am overabundently happy with my playthings and with the company of mine siblings! My playthings give me constant delight and occupation; additionally I desire no more playthings such that even should a shiny new catalog arrive in the mail, or should I happen to catch you browsing items on the internet, or even should I accompany you on a trip to Walmart - the land of many new and shiny things - a whimper of request or desire shall not pass mine lips as I am not in need of additional plastic molded into various incarnations of characters that I have viewed upon the television. And of mine siblings, they are never troubling to me and we are only of constant accord and harmony in all things and at all times. The quiet and tranquility and harmony that we create as a group of children is the envy of every respectable monastic establishment the world over."
It is my desire that you should say these things, and yet, again, you do not say them, nor even imply them.
I desire that you should say to me "Mother! Oh dearest mother! The food and drink that you have given me unto this day are nourishing and sufficient! Your skill and care in the preparation of my excellent repast have been duly noted and appreciated by me and mine siblings. I would not dare suggest that you prepare additional food more to my liking because nothing could be more tasty and satisfying that what you have prepared this evening. I shall clean my plate with alacrity, but not too much haste that I shall make my stomach have pains. I shall take my plate to the sink, wash it, put it away and express my sincere thanks to you for the delightful meal I have received."
Alas, it is my desire that you should say these things...but you do not say them, nor even imply them.
I have these desires, oh my children, that you and I may live in peace together and that I shall not be able to count into double digits the number of gray hairs now gracing mine head. Assuredly you have blessed me with these hairs, lacking in pigmentation as they are, and my desires are as fruitless as the refrigerator after you have come home from school and ransacked it, as is your way.
(inspired in part by the classic article that never ceases to amuse me). Have a blessed day and may your children express your deepest desires in equally eloquent language.
